The Light Behind Your Eyes
by Tragicandwonderless
Summary: Based on the song The Light Behind Your Eyes by My Chemical Romance.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the rights to the song The Light Behind Your Eyes, Sherlock, and any characters from Sherlock.

**So long to all my friends**

 **Everyone of them met tragic ends**

Sherlock thought of Mrs. Hudson, Lestrade, Molly, Mycroft, and the dozens others who he missed so much. He looked, unseeing, at the body by his feet. How did this happen? Where did everyone go?

 **With every passing day**

 **I'd be lying if I didn't say**

 **That I miss them all tonight**

 **And if they only knew what I would say**

Even his genius mind couldn't compute the grief that accompanied their absence. With each death, his heart had contorted into a block of something stronger and colder than ice, save for one spot that had been filled by the one man that Sherlock would've died for.

 **If I could be with you tonight**

 **I would sing you to sleep**

 **Never let them take the light behind your eyes**

But he'd failed, hadn't he? First Mary, and now this. There was always some wall between Sherlock and terrible greatness. Because that was love, wasn't it? A horrible amazing that chews you up and spits you out, leaving nothing but a husk of a former person. Sherlock had always longed for this greatness. It was always just out of reach. There was always a barrier that he had to tear down.

 **One day I'll lose this fight**

 **As we fade in the dark**

 **Just remember you will always burn as bright**

Sherlock's gaze swept up and down the body in front of him. His eyes caught on small things, the way the corpse's hand was reaching for the bulge in his jacket where his gun was hidden, the blood still slowly oozing from the bullet wound in his neck.

 **Be strong and hold my hand**

 **Time—it comes for us, you'll understand**

He couldn't look at the face. Not yet.

 **We'll say goodbye today**

 **And I'm sorry how it ends this way**

He sank to his knees, an immense, crushing wave of emotion sweeping over him. He truly was all alone, so very alone. Tears welled up in Sherlock's eyes and he convulsed.

 **If you promise not to cry**

 **Then I'll tell you just what I would say**

He just couldn't handle this. Dozens of memories flashed in his brain of the man who now lay in front of him.

 **If I could be with you tonight**

 **I would sing you to sleep**

 **Never let them take the light behind your eyes**

As Sherlock flew through the flashbacks, he registered an enormous sensation in his chest. He gasped in pain and clutched his stomach. What was this pain, and why did it feel like someone had taken a knife to his- _oh_

 **I'll fail and lose this fight**

 **Never fade in the dark**

 **Just remember you will always burn as bright**

Sherlock's heart was breaking.

 **The light behind your eyes**

 **The light behind your**

Finally, he allowed his eyes to travel above the gruesome hole in the body's neck.

 **Sometimes we must grow stronger and**

 **You can be stronger when I'm gone**

And Sherlock saw his face.

 **When I'm here, no longer**

 **You must be stronger and**

John.

 **If I could be with you tonight**

 **I would sing you to sleep**

 _John._

 **Never let them take the light behind your eyes**

 **I failed and lost this fight**

He couldn't take it.

 **Never fade in the dark**

 **Just remember you will always burn as bright**

Everything was too much. Sherlock couldn't compute the pain that refused to still in his chest, and it sat like a stone and weighed him down as he sobbed, John's blood staining his pants as Sherlock cradled his head in his arms.

 **The light behind your eyes**

Why were there always these barriers? Was it fate, the will of an unseeing, uncaring world?

 **The light behind your eyes**

Or perhaps the final barrier wasn't a wall at all, but a door.

 **The light behind your eyes**

Sherlock's hand groped in John's jacket.

 **The light behind your eyes**

His hands found the gun.

 **The light behind your eyes**

As he pulled it out of John's jacket, a piece of paper fell to the floor.

 **The light behind your eyes**

Sherlock slowly picked up the paper, his hands trembling as he recognised John's familiar handwriting.

 _Sherlock,_

 _I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell you this._

 _It was always you._

 _Sherlock._

 _I love you._

 _John._

 **The light behind your eyes**

The paper crumpled in his fist. Tears blurred Sherlock's vision as he gripped the pistol. As his teeth closed around the weapon, he grasped John's cold hand and wrote his own note,

 **The light behind your eyes**

 _John_

 **The light behind your eyes**

 _I love you_

 _Always._

 **The light behind your eyes**

 _Sherlock_

 **The light behind your eyes**

And in the end, it wasn't darkness that embraced him, but a perfect, flawed, amazing human.

 _John._


End file.
